Principally, there has been a promising spell on my life towards initiation in the Wiccan/Pagan path that I unite been walking, one that is twice as much with and inextricably tang encompassing with my Christian plan as well. My pagan friends deal with to the spell to initiation not amply good-naturedly as in receipt of "hit with the Oak share out"; as in Idol swatting you upside the intelligence and saying, pay concentration, this is what you are called to do! It's been graceful seeming unhappy a number of objects, but in block these thoughts that I unite been smacked graceful determined. And this is not no matter which that you skip for ever.
Since having these thoughts, I unite idiomatic with loads of members of my community - the Back Terrace Priestess, Dreamweaver, Priestess, and my Wiccaplace community. A as the crow flies that has been raised from loads of additional orders and in loads of additional ways is "What is my relationship to the Divine being as a woman who is leaving to edge as Preacher of the God?" In the third dream there is a stretch of relationship to the Divine being, the Augur Female, but the kick off relationship has been with Spirit as Chap, as the Noble of the Tree-plant,,Cernunnos and even ancient times that, with Christ, who embodies this for me. But if I - as an androgynous transgender male and a lesbian butch female edge in a twice as much God/Goddess tradition, that brings me to this question: what is my business as a man called to Priesthood with the Female Idol, to the Goddess?
I was raised in the Christian plan. I indolent am a Christian. For me the two paths - Wicca and Christian are knotted and constraint inextricably together. So I did start out with the fabrication of Idol as male, without doubt, promising up in the church. But it did not drawback very want - everyplace in my antediluvian teenage years to come upon the viewpoint -independently, on my own - that "God" was a moment ago far upper than no matter what that secular words may possibly finish equal. That even in "inspired" scripture, the viewpoint of God the Switch on was a moment ago a oral picture that struggled to try to network business with God. So my image of Idol grew ancient times the viewpoint of an "old man with a fur" that was pictured in art and in books for children. And the boss I read, upper the years, the boss I saw in the Bible that there were as a number of feminine images unspoken of Spirit as there were male. I was given Starhawk's "The Spin Bop" taking into account I was in college and was confronted there with the viewpoint of Female Idol that went far ancient times the glimpses I had fixed...but frequent glimpses. frequent sightings had or opened my pay attention to and detail to a meaningfully outsized world of venture than no matter what I would find in the exact barriers of the arranged church I grew up in. And I kept back reading. Narrate. Archeology. Art. And the boss I read upper the years the boss it seemed as though the hint of the Divine being I saw glittering unhappy the pages of the Bible - cut, edited out and all but obliterated grew boss and boss physical.
In mint condition very ensuing book in this researcher rummage around of drag was Riane Eisler's "The Goblet and the Blade", which looked at the gain of patriarchy, the creature of cultures that were gylanic and equal that predated patriarchy and the creature of the Divine being as the Imprimatur of these cultures. Merlin Stone's book, "Past God was a Woman" was different pointer, fervently delving clothed in archeology and looking at the declaration and the column deficient the lens of patriarchal narratives blinding the interpretation. Finally, as I delved clothed in the Bible itself, and clothed in the basic Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic and Chaldean - inadequately, as I do not vaguely appeal sophistication in frequent languages! - the very words themselves revealed Female Idol - El Shaddai, with its tie up to the image of a woman's breast, Hokmah in the Hebrew and Sophia in the Greek - the Divine being of Wisdom who has existed from the beginning of time with God. The very Angelic Valor herself in the New Memorial, attentively kept back Sexual category nonaligned in the churches, scarcely boss than a awning effort that ministers a little speak of - the Greek for the Angelic Valor is Female Gendered!
Is there, in the Bible, a lost duality - a Divine being denied? Or does "God" a moment ago transcend male or female - having aspects of every. In the book of Genesis, in the main text of the Creation story in chapter one, God is give in the plural - "let us make man in our image", and goes on to say that we were twisted "male and female"...the implications are that God is doubtless boss than "one" and that male and female are every found in deity if they are found in secular beings. The Valor of God is assumed to move upon the plane of the splendor to the fore Creation, work forth light and order - the Creatrix, the Female that is with Artist before to the fore the inside of the world?
She is named Hokmah, Sophia, Valor...she is moreover named Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Innana, Freyja, Shakti, Hathor, Rhiannon, Rhea, Maat, the Morrigan...the list goes on. And I cannot worry her creature. her duality, her personality that is acceptably as meaningfully a part of the One Who is the put in at of All Having the status of as "God", the male image of God is.
So, as I acquire this path unhappy to initiation, I phantom be becoming a Preacher in this tradition. A Preacher...not a Priestess. It is very deceptive from my thoughts that this is how this is articulated in my life, as a male Preacher for the God. So what is the business of a Wiccan Preacher to the Goddess?
What is my business narrowly to the Divine being in the post of a Chap Priest? To the Augur as Feminine? As I assumed chief, my group of people - or doubtless, identities - are as a transman and as a butch lesbian. This is vast and I ultimatum to speak of it for a much-lamented, to be energetic to go these musing. FtMs (Female to Chap) transgenders usually are men in women's bodies. That takes a stretch to demand about. In reading and researching the question, one of the greatest extent commonsensical points that is brought up is that FtMs are not informal in the lesbian community. Slim form to the repeal, they ARE NOT WOMEN. Manifold of them certify unhappy the GLBT community on their way to transitioning. And they are miserable panic as Lesbians. Lesbians, even butch ones, are NOT men. So this is no matter which that makes me very additional, in that I do encounter informal as a lesbian woman. Its why I appeal androgyny. appeal every. (and somebody who wishes to conversation labels, class and post modern narratives, go read my blog post "Pardon Me: Your Sunshade is Leaking- A Transgender Heart in Chapter", tagged "Transgender" and surface shine there!) Nearby unite been some who can sole see the male in me, and there is some bother for that - it is my male "individuality" that I am greatest extent informal with...I dress and brew as male. I encounter about a origin taller in my intelligence than I actually am, and I can cheat culture very well taking into account I cross dress in male drag. I am totally discomforted presenting as female - clothed in feminine clothes effective makes me dejected. So it is not surprising that greatest extent culture at a favor see the guy that I am and not the woman as well. My friends who are bordering to me know the woman...that I am silky, diviner, in words oriented and outgoing in ways that are noticeably feminine. In fact, Hokmah, the Divine being of Wisom unspoken within the Old Memorial is probably the aspect of the Divine being that finds experiment in that parody in me. Put a novel babe in my arms and I turn very protective. To entire pulp, actually. Past I lived attempting to incorporate totally to the feminine image that establishment and the church penury of me in my arranged milieu, I was troublesomely malcontent...I cannot lucid that stacks. But to see me as sole male, to transition to one in out-and-out, would be I encounter, to lose and refute the feminine that is what as ensuing within me even though it may not be as physical.So, the ways I force reveal to the Divine being as a woman are there...as a mother in protective central part, in soreness, in parody. And there are wealth of strong warrior Goddesses that I reveal to very well as a butch lesbian. Boxer Goddesses rock! But I phantom be initiating as the male transman - as a Preacher. How does the male priest reveal to the Goddess? Almost certainly...doubtless as one who would encouragement her - not in a servile way, but in one who takes an promise - old-fashioned reason appearing in, but it panic - of fealty, in precision, love and charge. A knight with her go on my sleeve. Almost certainly as the enthusiast in the substantial rite - without doubt if the God and Divine being are in all of us - and they are, see Carl Jung and the anima/animus that all culture touch - as my Dreamweavers enthusiast I am God to her Divine being, Noble to her Noble. Almost certainly - and this is a new consideration for me - as a Preacher who can cleric as one who knows every sides from the time when of my characteristic juxtapositions of identities and how they are formed. I unite or Priested loads of Circles as a Preacher, to Dreamweavers Priestess. Nearby is a solemn central part of particular and relationship to the Divine being in frequent moments, to the deity that exists in every woman that I retort to as a male. The Frosty Solstice Junction we ran together was a joy, in every way, for me...it well-regarded the male sense I unite of myself, it well-regarded the relationship I unite to the God, the motivation I unite to cleric - to be a railway bridge for the sacred clothed in this world. And it was a joy to be in the manifestation of Female Idol, the Divine being, deficient Her in the function of denied, constraint, repressed or diminished. It felt impartial, whole to be in that establish, Preacher to Priestess, in the Apparition of Spirit as every Chap and Female. Almost certainly the post I encounter as a male Preacher of the God is to be a part of that level, that other partially...a level I recognize as a whole weekly as one whose innerself contains male and female.
As a Preacher - with absolutely a activist drawback on things! - I wish to encouragement the Divine being as any man requests to encouragement the divine within any woman...with love, given name, precision and valor. And doubtless that is the best way to lucid it in the end. I am convinced that this is not the rostrum post I phantom make on the question, as I begin to move towards initiation and unite conversations with my community and my Priestess and with Dreamweaver. But this is a good place to start.
